An Unlikely Athlete: 3 Perspective Shifts to Experience and Leverage Discomfort

I'll make a bold statement here: any transformational change I have experienced has been preceded by sitting with failure, or discomfort. Also, there is translational value from one life sphere to another. Whether the challenge is cognitive, emotional, relational, professional, or physical, a break-though in one area will often trigger a breakthrough in another area.

The sphere that is the most accessible and has had the greatest fruit to me and to many, is the physical one, because it is physically straighforward. Since about the age of 25 my training has been consistent however it was limited by rigid well-worn thoughts and labels.

Confronting these labels has been uncomfortable. My mind generates a million reason to stop and my success is in combating these reasons over and over again. This is not a new concept, Abraham Maslow, an influential and thought provoking 20th century psychologist wrote, "One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again".

This could be seen as an exhausting mantra, especially if I am not centred in the present moment. However Maslow's message is a simple posture of self-awareness and learning, of understanding that space between my comfort zone and my boundary and choosing to stay there. Here are three paradigm shifts that help me train better. They have effective applications to the other areas of life, as well.

1) Thoughts and Labels are Hypothetical and can be Discarded.

Although I have exercised most days of my adult life, due to limiting messages I received and cultivated as a child, I have never seen myself as an athlete. My brain would be flooded with self-consciousness in any sport I played, preventing me from gaining toward mastery. By following the teaching of contemporary psychologist Stephen Hayes, I can hold my thoughts loosely and flexibly. I can reframe them by pulling lessons from other areas of my life: dig deep, let go of judgement, communicate, and most of all, be in the present moment. Working with a trainer has made me delve into my physicality in a way that is new and vulnerable, giving me access to a major lever for growth that I had seen as unavailable or limited.

2) Vulnerability is a Magic Maker.

I am currently training for a 10k. This is not my first race nor my longest race, however, I am digging differently than I have in the past. Exercising like this isn't about weight loss or escaping. It is about learning from an expert how to move my body in a way I did not learn to as a kid. It is listening to my body instead of soldiering through. Guess what? This process is really vulnerable and confronting. I am digging up well seeded (and painful) beliefs about myself: I am not athletic, I am not coordinated, I need to burn more calories, I will look foolish. In business and relationships, this discomfort is fertile soil for growth and measurable progress. The senses are heightened and more learning gets in. The ability to integrate internal and external information in a vulnerable state is an advantage.

There are few postures as valuable as the ability to humbly lean in when one is not feeling adequate.

The urge to make a self-deprecating joke when a drill is tough or plan to practice a drill later releases me from fully engaging and mastering momentary discomfort. I am learning to let these limiting and well-trodden mechanisms roll on by, instead grounding myself in the fact that this is supposed to be hard and staying present and focussed is all I need to do. Pushing into physical vulnerability is very personal in terms of risk and benefit. The stakes vary, and physical gains may not always be possible. However, that is the trajectory for us all: narrowing physical limitations. I am hopeful that I will continue to to find meaning within my circle of capacities, cultivating a rich interior world to retreat to, partly as a result of my full engagement in the physical, regardless of how small that circle is. It is a continual commitment to respect my boundaries while venturing out of my comfort zone.

3) There is Translational Value in Physical Challenge.

The athlete knows that simplicity and integrity are gained with more repetitions, feedback, honest reflection, and strategic action. Physical victories can stimulate forward movement in cognition, emotion, relationships, and professions. I am unlearning patterns of thinking and moving; disengaging defences that no longer serve me. I am continuously humbled as I bring myself into an arena where I have little historical confidence and expertise. This is good for me. It fans the flames of empathy and humility for other areas of my life where I have more confidence: when I ask clients to consider difficult topics and decisions, I wonder if they might be battling their own limiting thoughts: I am not smart enough, I am not creative enough, My feelings don't matter. My trainer's expertise, unfaltering engagement, and steady confidence create the conditions for a transformational shift. These conditions are available to all us, in many of the situations and people around us, if we have the courage and humility to be venture beyond comfort.